Golden rays of
sunlight filter through the lush green trees, scorching my eyes to reveal a
magestical sofa with a large brown cat perched on the arm of the chair.
But something
didn’t seem right about this cat…
‘Oh well’ I think
to myself.
The couch looked
old and ragged; to tell you the truth, it looked as if it had just come out of
the dump! I study the
suspicious couch a little longer before giving way to exhaustion, suddenly
aware of the throbbing pain in my legs, tired after the 10 weeks of exploring
this magestical forest. So I decide to
have a rest on this couch, but what I didn’t know, was that I was about to make
the biggest mistake in my entire life...
By Zena
OMG im at the edge of my seat that was was amazing i would love to know more!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI was very impressed with the descriptive language you used and I like how you left me in wonder and predicting what's going to happen next!
ReplyDeleteSasha,
Room M, Turaki School, Nz
Hi there Zena. Wow, your use of descriptive language is very impressive and it really grabbed my attention as a reader. I loved the way you used the cliffhanger ending so well. I definitely want to keep reading! Just remember to carefully edit your work. There is a tense issue with the word 'think' (should be thought) and in the last line, 'in' would be better written as 'of'. Overall this is an excellent piece of writing and I can't wait to see how you interpret the next challenge! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteMrs W (Team 100 Australia)
http://classwg.edublogs.org